No matter your belief paradigm, Los Angeles is a furnace. This month it has had this eery sheen. Smudgy bronzer lines the gutters of Hollywood Boulevard. We have red carpet covering that corner where the homeless man was killed by police. Is that a woman putting a price on her body? Darling, no. That’s a nominee. The Oscars are the ultimate reflection of a hope deferred. They are the television show masquerading as an institution, the marketplace pretending to be a temple. The top of the ladder, the dream of every kid waiting tables in WeHo. Judgment day. We see the […]
The Sad Days start the same way all seasons do. The wild plants on the side of the road on which you are travelling, start to change, ever so slightly. They might have been sporting little yellow flowers – bright indications of warmth, health, abundance… But almost without you noticing, they somewhat wilt, and then shed. The plants become bare. It’s subtle at first, only a few dead leaves here or there. But as you travel on, you notice them more. Suddenly, there are no flowers at all, and you know you’re in the thick of a new season. […]
‘Like the ocean, the native state of the feminine is to flow with great power, and no single direction. The masculine builds canals, dams and boats to unite with the power of the feminine ocean and go from point A to point B. But the feminine moves in many directions at once. The masculine chooses a single goal and goes in that direction. Like a ship cutting through a vast ocean, the masculine decides on a course and navigates the direction: the feminine energy is itself undirected but immense, like the wind and deep currents of the ocean, ever-changing, […]
Last night, I went and saw a play called ‘We Get It’. It was part of MTC Neon, and created by ‘The Elbow Room’ – written by Marcel Dorney and Rachel Perks, and co-directed by Marcel Dorney and Emily Tomlins. This isn’t a review. This is my response. I don’t want this play to open, and then close, and have the long-awaited conversation stop. In saying this, I am responding to the aspect of the show that I could directly understand from experience. There were profoundly moving elements I can’t address, and so I leave them out – but not […]
Every plane trip, my randomly selected neighbour strikes up the same conversation. “Are you going home?” “Yeah. I guess.” And somehow, I always figure that I am. My body has, for a month, crawled out of the brief cocoon of America – the corn syrup, yes – the dust, of course – but the safety, too. I have had to sweat out the stalled pain of the things I have had to leave behind, their memory preserved, hardly seeming real. Some days, jet-lagged or genuinely in transit, I feel like I have conditioned myself for loss. As if a relationship isn’t […]
Not too many months ago, some friends and I drove along Mulholland Drive at night. We watched the little lights collect together, and the larger lights of mansions hiding coyly behind hedges. I remember seeing one house, positioned like a castle on a cliff. It held the prime real estate of the city – looking out over the entirety of Los Angeles. There were people pouring in to a party. The building glowed – lit like Marilyn Monroe, with soft shadows and curves. It was very simple from the outside. Highly mysterious. It even had a carpark, for fifty or so cars. […]
(For Sunday) Here is a call Open and voiced From this gut Grated along the back Of this throat Come back My God As rock is smoothed By generations Of precipitation Of this pull Deeper Down To the animal Crouched In the crater Of this earth As the deer pants for Water So my soul longs for You I have these strange visions, sensations Under my eyes, along my skin I have an entire universe Lifted off my shoulders As if I have carried you while You Have waited To carry me I Have waited For the empty suitors For […]
(For Friday) I have chosen to speak to you publicly This is not an address a letter a collection of ideas I can now present I have nothing to say to you and so I pray You have said to me Ask and it will be given Seek and you will find My darling Just knock The door will be opened to you Oh we are raging at this door I have slept up against it The tomb is closed I have been looking You are the lost thing Are you so small Yeshua That I could drop you like […]
A spoken word film. Part 3 of 3. Anna’s journey. San Francisco.
Part 2. Marla’s Journey. A spoken-word film.